Singing Gay Tony's Ballad

With a brand new Xbox 360 at my disposal, I've finally gotten around to playing "GTA IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony," the latest piece of episodic content from Rockstar.


The Good
New weapons! Silenced p-90, a new auto shotty ("The Lost and Damned" had one too, but whatev). Nitro boost on cars and base jumping are a real treat. The new attack helicopter doesn't count, more on that later.

The cutscenes are actually more entertaining than the gameplay. Top notch voice acting and animation (mocap) all around.

Missions are now replayable at the end of the game! 'Bout freakin' time!

The Bad
New ranking system that evaluates your time, damage, and completion of secondary goals after a mission. Stats uploaded to Rockstar Social Club. Who the hell cares? I cheat all the time anyway.

Not a game you want children to see or hear, let alone play. Very graphic violence and language.

The sex is frequent, if vague. The sex scenes happen more often than loading screens, and are just as boring. The whole thing is hollow and desensitized. Come to think of it, the interactive club scene is all about drinking and screwing. It gets kinda nauseating after a while.

Speaking of which, hanging out with friends is still part of the GTA world. Boring as hell. Your "friends" are douchebag leeches who always end up in drug wars.

The Ugly

As in all GTA games, the main character is both compelling and a horrible human being at the same time. For all the overtures of Luis Lopez being a good guy at heart (trying to help friends and his mother, disliking drug dealers and gangsters), he's a bad man. Real people are this way, I know, but Luis' characterization sends the wrong message. Luis talks a good game, but keeps making all the wrong choices. So what if you ran over a few hookers and killed 10 cops today? At least Mami got her rent money.

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